A Christian marriage – boring? Not at all! On the contrary, as a believing couple, you have access to a world of fun in your marriage.
Solomon even recommended it when he said in Ecclesiastes 9:9 “Enjoy life with the woman you love…”.
Research done by the University of Denver shows that couples who have fun together, stay together. “The correlation between fun and marriage satisfaction is high and noticeably, the more they invest in fun and friendship, and being there for each other, the happier the relationship will become over time,” says Howard Markman, a psychologist and co-director at the University’s Centre for Marital and Family Studies.
In addition, in his book Blueprints for a Solid Marriage, Dr Steve Stephens writes: “Couples who know how to play and have fun together, develop a bond that can carry them through the most difficult times”.
A New York Times article entitled Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples further highlights that quality time alone is not enough to result in satisfaction with a relationship. Researchers have found that couples have to spend that time doing interesting activities, because it is new experiences that activate the brain’s reward system.
Couples who took part in exciting date nights reported much greater satisfaction in their marriages than others. So, grab the opportunity – it is not as if we are telling you to sit and study a stack of books together! To have fun with each other is probably the most enjoyable and easiest way to strengthen the bond in your marriage.
This is how you can do it:
- Be silly!
Just because you’re grown up doesn’t mean that you have to be boring. And what is better than some silliness, just like when you were kids? Wake hubby up with a clown wig on your head and a cigar in your mouth. Read silly jokes, go ice skating or have a water balloon fight. It is the best cure for boredom!
- Try something new.
Is there something you have always wanted to do, but never got around to doing? Do it together! Whether it is something adventurous like parachuting out of a helicopter or learning how to make chocolate… Make it happen and take enough pictures to later look back and remember those moments.
- Stay in bed the whole day.
Yes, it is fun! Especially because you would normally feel too guilty to do it. Plan the day: Pack a cooler box full of drinks and snacks so that you don’t even have to get up to go to the kitchen. Make out, sleep, eat, make out, sleep, eat… repeat.
- Celebrate everything under the sun!
Make a big fuss over every little thing. The first summer greens, the last day of school, the first swim of the year, the last day of winter. Celebrate the fact that you have survived another year with your son’s strict kindergarten principal. Buy cupcakes for everyone if little sis gives up her pacifier. Create your own events and celebrate!
- Play games
When was the last time you played Pictionary? Or Uno? Invite another couple for game night and have a good laugh. Print T-shirts (for example the Johnsons vs the Smiths), make up a war cry that you perform before the games start and buy a tub full of M&M’s for the winning team! Or forget the friends and take each other on, but find a reason to take off your clothes in the process… like playing “strip” Uno.
- Make date night non-negotiable.
Whether you buy soft serve ice cream at McDonald’s to enjoy somewhere with a view, or whether you go out for a three-course meal at a five-star hotel… put it in your diaries and mark it as “important”. Nothing should interfere with date night.
- Occasionally involve the kids.
Many parents are inclined to think that their romantic plans must always include the children. It does not have to be that way. But sometimes it is impossible to find a babysitter and every now and then you have to include the little ones in your romantic activities. How about a picnic in the moonlight or watching stars on the trampoline? These ideas can be just as romantic, even if the kids are around. At the same time, it will also give them a good example of what a healthy, fun-filled marriage should look like.
- Keep your conversations interesting
Yes, sometimes it is necessary to talk about the “important” things, but it is equally necessary to be light-hearted every now and then. Talk to each other in rhymes for an hour! Or imitate funny accents. Quote famous movies or Shakespeare. Whatever you choose, do your best to make each other laugh.
It is completely natural to have fun, we just tend to forget to prioritize it as we get older. Bring back the fun into your relationship and soon you will have the most enjoyable marriage you can imagine!
Sources: www.equippinggodlywomen.com; www1.cbn.com; www.drmichellegannon.com