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The four temperaments in sex

All temperaments can become great lovers! The key to this greatness is understanding each other better, appreciating the strengths and overcoming weaknesses with grace. Remember: love gives!  It helps so much when you understand why your partner acts in a certain why.  Once you know these things, you can cooperate with each other instead of clashing and trying to change the other.

*  Important Definition – Guardrail: The definition of a guardrail is a rail at the edge of something such as a road or a cliff that prevents vehicles or people from falling off and getting hurt. They are strategically placed for your safety. A personal guardrail is a standard of behavior that becomes a matter of conscience. It’s the non-negotiables in your life, the red lights that say DANGER, STAY OUT. Put these up and adhere to them at all times to ensure that your relationship is safe.

Below you will find more information on how each temperament thinks/acts in the bedroom. Make sure that you take a look a both your and your partner’s main temperaments. 

*** These insights can ensure a great sex life! Study them carefully!

The different temperaments in the bedroom:

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Are they all equal?

No temperament is better than another! They are all equally strong and challenged.

Most people will find themselves to be a blend of two or even three temperaments. Unless you are extremely strong in one temperament, your second temperament will play a significant role in your behavior. It might offset some weaknesses or it can intensify them. One temperament will usually be more dominant than another but the ratio could be as close as a 60/40 combination. The intensity of a temperament will determine how much of that temperament traits you display. If your strengths are extremely strong, you are likely to have very strong weaknesses as well. It all comes down to balance.

Temperament combinations will enhance and/or offset strengths and weaknesses.

If you are, for example, an extroverted Ocean combined with an introverted Lake, these two temperaments will offset each other and your extrovert tendencies will be calmed. But when the extroverted Ocean combines with the extroverted Fountain, your volume settings can go way up! Some temperaments complement each other, while others blend and some are quite the opposite. You will find this not only in yourself but also in your partner. We all possess a toolbox of strengths that will help us grow stronger where we are weak, as individuals and as a couple.

Your profile results will tell you what your combinations are. The stronger you are in a temperament, the more you will identify with that specific temperament. Some characteristics might not seem applicable. Not everybody displays all the characteristics of a particular temperament. If you don’t believe it’s true, ask someone you trust if they see that characteristic in you. We often have blind spots in our lives. Things we don’t even realize we do but everyone else is aware of it. Be careful not to get hurt in the process of uncovering blind spots. It’s perfectly normal not to be 100% self-aware. LOFS will give you an opportunity to become an even better version of yourself.

The goal of identifying temperaments isn’t to label you or put you in a box. It helps you understand yourself and your partner better with the purpose of respecting, honoring, accepting and helping each other. Once we are able to pinpoint our strengths and weaknesses, we can live more confidently through our strengths and we can work on our weaknesses together.

A crucial decision

By now you have discovered that you don’t enjoy all of your partner’s strengths and shortcomings and you have a crucial decision to make. You can either focus on their strengths or on their shortcomings. If you decide to focus on the shortcomings, you will embark on a steady process of destruction. Each criticism, each little fault that you point out will not lead to your partner’s change but will increase their feelings of inferiority and might evoke a counter-attack. When your shortcomings are constantly pointed out, you will generally react by withdrawing or by becoming highly critical and fight back by breaking your partner down. This is a vicious circle where nobody wins.

There is no perfect in this world. No temperament is better than another. Each has wonderful strengths and glaring weaknesses. The answer lies in learning to cope with each other’s temperaments by choosing to focus on your partner’s strengths.