Wives do several things to show their commitment. Whether it’s staying faithful to your husband, cooking dinner every evening, helping with household tasks or making love regularly, we all do things that can contribute to a happy marriage . . . but does this really contribute to having a truly committed marriage?
Commitment is much more than never cheating on your spouse. Commitment is a choice that you make, every day, to be a part of something that’s bigger than yourself. Both partners need to be committed to the relationship, to each other’s goals and to the goals of their marriage.
Every marriage will have challenges and stumbling blocks, but commitment is the glue that will help you and your partner to face the storms that come your way. Instead of seeing a rough patch or a challenge as an excuse to bail out of the relationship, you refocus and realign to ensure that you are on the same page and can be a united front – this is what commitment does for your marriage.
Commitment is a choice
According to Julie Lowe from Savingyour-marriage.info, you can’t make a marriage work without commitment, as your marriage can’t grow and flourish without it. But how do you do it and where do you start?
If you’re on the brink of getting married, you need to do a lot of introspection to make sure that this is what you really want and that you are prepared for the work that goes into having a committed marriage. Once you have decided that this person and marriage are what you want, you need to commit to it for life.
If you are already married, you will know that commitment is a choice that you make every day. You wake up and choose to love your partner and give him or her the support, time, care and encouragement that he or she needs on a daily basis.
Your emotions and feelings will deepen, and although there will be times when being in love will feel like a lot of effort and work, marriage and commitment are a choice that will get you through the tough times.
Tips for a committed marriage
With choices come priorities – what is at the top of your list, what gets preference and what can wait until later.
Tony Derbyshire from Relationship-secrets.com explains that commitment should be one of your top priorities. “A relationship is something that you must work on, and it takes care as well as effort if you want your marriage to blossom and grow. A beautiful flower gets more beautiful when it gets care and attention, to prevent it from dying. The same applies to marriages!”
Some people stay together for the sake of their kids or due to an obligation. Although this type of dedication can be admired, you also want to be happy throughout your marriage. True commitment goes further than loyalty and responsibility, and it is cemented by duty, trust, friendship, hard work and long-term vision for the relationship. True commitment is rewarding and it brings you closer to each other, so that you want to be in the marriage (not because you feel you have to).
Here are a few practical tips for commitment:
Step 1: Make your relationship a priority. How important is your relationship to you? How much time have you spent with your partner recently? What specific things have you done to protect your friendship? Does your partner know that you are committed? How can you show each other that you are committed to the marriage?
Step 2: Both of you should get a pen and paper. Make a list of five categories: Money, work, marriage, entertainment and friends. Number each item according to what you think your partner’s priorities are. Swap your lists and talk about the changes that you can make in your lives to make your commitment even stronger. Ask yourself: What I can do to show more interest in the things that interest my partner?
Step 3: Get rid of all forms of infidelity, including pornography and relationships with colleagues or friends that have a romantic element to them. It causes unbelievable damage to your unity. Ask yourself: When was the last time I flirted with my spouse? If you are attracted to someone else, limit your contact with this person.
Step 4: Show a bit of initiative during the day to make your partner feel special. Whether your marriage is rock solid or a bit wobbly, make time to spend together. Always work on staying committed to your marriage.
Everyone is busy these days, but spend quality time together as often as possible. Celebrate each other’s successes and support each other through thick and thin.